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Our forefathers very cleverly declared our right to the pursuit of happiness, perhaps because maybe they knew that finding actual happiness was somewhat akin to capturing a shadow.

I am, on balance (or some would say, unbalanced and drop the sentence there), a fairly happy little camper on a day in, day out basis. I am a self-contained unit. I am responsible for my own happiness and I choose it most days. (Some days I am just too miserable to be around, even for myself.) But I have found happiness is that brief space of shoreline that is sometimes covered up and sometimes revealed by the tides. I have my dark moons: The death of my father when I was 18; the impending death of my mom, unrequited loves, lost opportunities.

We all have sadnesses. People in the therapy and self-help industries will say that any one person’s grief is not greater than another’s. This is patently untrue. I have met people with much greater griefs, huge injustices and damages that have been done to them. It doesn’t make my grief any less to me, but it does allow me to appreciate the fact that there are griefs I have somehow, up until now, managed to escape.

But I am supposed to be talking about happiness here. How is it defined? Is it stronger than contentment but somewhat short of giddiness? Is it a matter of being satisfied with where you are or just in knowing where you are going? Is it the joy when you have finally found THAT ONE THING that resonates so strongly within you that you are convinced that is what you were put on this earth to do?

I don’t think that happiness is meant to be a constant state. It can’t be. Life doesn’t roll that way. Not every performance is a ten. Not every plant in the garden blooms. Moments of happiness can stretch into minutes can stretch into hours, but it is not a constant. Just as life can bring happiness, it can take it away or at least temporarily block your view of it. On the plus side, sadness and grief work the same way.

I think many of us feel we are not happy because we sense we are missing something – some magic component that will finally leave us feeling complete and fulfilled. That one thing, that passion that flips the switch in our minds and our hearts and our bodies and springs us into the super-enhanced vision of all we could do and all we could be. I wonder if instead of waiting for that “one thing” to reveal itself to us, that magic “aha moment” that tells us what we should be doing with our lives in order to be fulfilled, if we should just choose something and make it our passion.

And there goes that inner voice again: “What if I choose the wrong thing to be passionate about? What about all the other stuff I want to accomplish?” For many of us, those choices are endless and varied and maybe that is part of the problem. Too many opportunities, too many variables. And we are afraid that if we choose one, we close the door on all the others.

So pick two. Pick three. Or choose one for five years and then move on to the next. But whatever it is, throw yourself into it whole-heartedly. Accomplish something. Make a difference. And realize that you won’t always be happy in the process but you will find some happiness.

At the end of the day, is happiness a warm puppy? Why not? Happiness can be simple or complex. It can as inexpensive as an ice cream cone or as pricey as a hand-built Italian sports car. But happiness is there, waiting for you. Capture it when you can. Appreciate the moments.

My business partner and I run a mastermind for women, teaching them how the business world works, how to use corporations and the tax laws to their advantage, and really, how to do business in a man’s world. While women have made great strides, men still control the business world. That’s not a complaint, just a fact.

Jay is tough on them. He gets loud, he hounds and pushes them. He’s arrogant and rude. A few four letter words may slip out. When he gets on a roll, you can’t shut him up and you can’t stop him. In his world, he has a message to get out and no one else’s message is more important than his. At the last meeting, had I been more confident of my aim and if he hadn’t been standing in front of a plate glass window, I would have thrown my shoe at him. Seriously. The shoe was off and in my hand.

Some of the women were upset. Others were okay with it. One woman said to me afterwards, “Barb, he has to be tough. Men are tough in business and we have to get toughened up to deal with them.”

I would like to say that his actions were deliberate and premeditated but I highly suspect they were not. He is a man and his job in the room is to provide the testosterone. He represents the males that women have to deal with in business and daily life. Now, is he always a jerk? No. And most men aren’t either. But when it comes to successful business people, male and female, they have an agenda to push through and they are not stopping until they win or somebody stronger (money, power, muscle, vocal chords) stops them. That’s why they are successful.

As women, we need to learn how to deal with these personalities. The first is recognizing that while win/win is a great philosophy, most people still don’t play that way. They may pay lip service to it, but you’re not going to get your win until the other side is assured of his win. You need to be able to pick out the people who are not on the win/win train so that you can change your strategies to meet theirs.

Second, as you get higher up in business, the stakes go up and the players are much smarter. Don’t let the upscale trappings fool you. People are just as ruthless in a boardroom with crystal and chandeliers as they are in a back alley with a knife. Maybe more so.

I choose to do business with people I like. I am lucky enough to have that freedom in most everything I do. I can and do push back when I need to. Most of the time. I let some battles go because I just don’t care enough about the situation to fight my side. I am learning to avoid fights I can’t win (at least until I CAN win them). Sometimes I go a little passive aggressive. Recently a client asked me to give him regular “progress reports”. Sounds a little too much like being checked up on to me. I sent him a gift basket of wine and cheese and told him to relax. My idea of a “progress report.”

As women, we need to be able to deal with men in the business world. They play a tough game. We need to be able to play and win that game. However, I also nurture a private dream that as women gain power in business, we will initiate a better way to carry out that business, one that involves more of a win/win/win philosophy. Hopefully, as more people see this as a viable business philosophy, they will join in.

I CAN be ruthless. I CHOOSE not to be. The expression “Iron fist in a velvet glove” keeps running through my mind. In order to get to a place where you can create the business world you want, you have to play within the structure of the game. Once you’ve won, you can change the rules.

Find the people who play be your rules. Be able to spots the ones who don’t. Handle each accordingly. Change takes a long time. But if we can each change our little corners of the business world, we can speed that process along.

I figured I would give President Obama the day off . As for Congress, I have never seen such a maliciously useless bunch as our representatives in Congress whose main job seems to be getting re-elected and making sure nothing gets done so I have decided to ignore them. I would suggest that the American people just go all Amish on them and shun them. If we stop listening to them, they still probably won’t shut up, but at least we’ll stop being annoyed. They stopped listening to us long ago.

The Four Largest Problems with the US economy as I see it are:

1. Jobs
2. Mortage/Banking/Securities Mess
3. Dependence on Foreign Oil
4. Transitioning from a Manufacturing Economy to a Technology/Information Economy (That’s the toughest and most painful.)

So, with three cups of coffee in me, I am well-equipped to solve these problems.

JOBS

Government statistics put unemployment at about 14.8 million. Reality is more like 20 - 22 million.

There are approximately 26 million small businesses in the United States. Yes, you got it. Every small business hires one person. Ta-da!

“Wait!” you say. “I can’t afford to hire someone. I am just barely making it myself.”

What if you hired an outside sales person on a commission only basis or a small draw against commission? What if hiring someone to do the admin worked gave you more time to bring more revenues into your business? What if taking on another worker helped you produce more goods? The idea here is that the person pays for themselves and then some. Will it work in every case? No. But what if it works in 20% of the cases? We just beat out the government and big business in getting people employed again.

Can’t afford to pay someone at all? Hire an apprentice. Could you teach someone business skills so that they might be able to go out and get a job? Could you teach someone to do what you do and end up with a skilled worker who could make a difference to your bottom line? Can you and another business (or businesses) co-op an employee such as a bookkeeper or sales person?

What about withholding taxes, Social Security, health care for this new employee? Hire the person as a contractor. 1099 them at the end of the year. Screw the details. People are going hungry and losing their houses. Get ‘em a job. Worry about the taxes later.

Jobs are the key to getting the economy moving again. Big business isn’t going to do it. They are too big to adapt to the new economy fast enough to make a difference. Many won’t survive. (But we’ll talk about that later.)

STEP 1 FOR FIXING THE ECONOMY: HIRE SOMEONE

MORTGAGE/BANKING/SECURITIES MESS

You’re gonna like this one. Screw the banks and screw Wall Street. Nobody ever received a loan without someone on the other end being willing to give it. Banks saw an opportunity to make big money by selling their loans to Wall Street so they gave loans to everyone and anyone who could fog a mirror. Literally. Wall Street over-securitized the loans, had the ratings companies in their pockets and sold bad securities to investors. They created servicers to handle all the paperwork and then didn’t do the paperwork. They then went back and MADE UP PAPERWORK which is FRAUD on top of FRAUD on top of FRAUD. HELLO! CAN ANYONE IN WASHINGTON SPELL RICO??? And we’re covering their losses?? They defrauded the states by not paying transfer fees (in fact, set up fake entities to avoid paying fees legally owed), they defrauded investors by lying about the safety of the securities and the government is saving their asses?? I DON’T THINK SO.

Time for Washington to cut the cord. (Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.) They aren’t too big to fail. They have failed. Get them out of our misery, cut off the leg before the infection kills the rest of us. In mommy words, “I’m going to take the Band-Aid off quick and it will only hurt for a minute.” I have no idea what the Brazilian wax girls say but I think that pain level is closer to what will happen.

So, stop making any government payments to lenders who have foreclosed or done a short sale (oh, yes, they have been collecting big money from the government on those). Any PMI on a foreclosure needs to go into an escrow fund until the true note holder can be discerned.

Any bank that kept their notes in their portfolio may continue to collect payments. If they want to do loan modifications for their clients, fine. They have the note, they have the right to do that.

Immediately halt any ongoing government funding of banks and Wall St.

Allow mortgage payments to be made into escrow accounts until the proper holder of the note can be found. Too many people are paying a servicer who either doesn’t legally exist or their monies are not being allotted properly. No note, no money. No foreclosure, short sale or loan mod either.

Make special efforts to save small banks that held onto their notes instead of selling them off to Wall Street rather than having the FDIC shut them down and allow some big bank to come in and take it over.

Prosecute the offending lenders and Wall Street firms (and individuals) under RICO.

Work on disengaging our monetary system from the Federal Reserve. Why a private company is in charge of our currency… don’t get me started. Just ask Greece what happens when you don’t control your own currency. This whole mess is going to be painful. We might as well go through the pain of firing the Fed while we are at it.

What can you do? Put your money in small, local banks and credit unions that hold their own loans. You know… like banks used to do.

CUT OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL

Our foreign policy is based on the fact that we need oil from other countries. Do you really think we’d be spending ONE TRILLION DOLLARS to fight a war in Iraq if we weren’t concerned about access to oil? Of course not. We would have bombed the shit out of the Saudis since they grew our 9/11 terrorists. But… oh, we can’t touch Saudis. They’re our “friends”. With friends like that…

Our dependence on foreign oil is expensive. In this report from the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco (I hate to say it) issued in 2006 (I’d find something more recent, but these numbers will do nicely and I actually have a life), the effect of oil imports on the national deficit is staggering.

” … the overall monthly trade deficit went from $30 billion to $68 billion, and the petroleum-related trade deficit went from $6 billion to $26 billion. These numbers imply that higher oil prices and the resulting higher cost of petroleum imports have accounted for over 50% of the deterioration in the overall U.S. trade deficit during this period.”

That’s MONTHLY and, yes, here’s the link: http://www.frbsf.org/publications/economics/letter/2006/el2006-24.html

People are eager to point out the lack of viability of alternate energy methods. Maybe that was true in 1970, but the landscape has changed considerably. Technology has become more efficient and prices have come down. It’s time to start putting this technology into play.

1. Tax heavy-weight vehicles that eat a lot of gas. Bad enough they had a f-ing tax credit (oh, did someone want to sell more gas because their families make money in oil? Yes.) And yes, an exemption for actual working vehicles for farm and industry. But there’s no reason a mother of two needs a HUMMER to go back and forth to the grocery store.

2. Increase tax credits for electric, hybrid and alternative fuel automobiles. Just don’t count on those cars being made by the Detroit Big Three. They are dinosaurs. And they move slower than molasses. They can’t keep up and we can’t wait.

3. All new homes must incorporate passive solar energy and high grade insulation. Any energy saving upgrades that can be built-in, should be. There should be additional tax credits for any house built with more aggressive methods of alternative energy — active solar, wind turbine, whatever.

4. Self-sufficiency really has to come from a grass-roots level. Energy alternatives need to become affordable for the average person to incorporate.

The U.S. will never be free until it can provide its own, renewable energy. Yes, the cost of alternative methods is high. But a trillion dollar war gets pretty pricey, too. You want to add in the lives lost and destroyed?

TRANSITIONING FROM A MANUFACTURING ECONOMY TO A TECHNOLOGY/INFORMATION ECONOMY

This one is the toughest and it’s one reason why the economy is in such a painful place right now. We are transitioning and that’s never easy. And this is going to take more research and segmenting than I have time for here. But let’s look at the obvious.

If we are going to a technological and information-driven economy, we need better educated workers. We are losing manufacturing jobs because frankly, we can get the work done much more cheaply overseas. But what of the American worker, the guy who has worked the line for 20 years and was hoping to retire? He’s basically screwed. Is it better if he’s screwed now or five years from now when he goes to retire and his company ain’t there anymore? (See Band-Aid ripping, above) Do we try to get him into a re-training program. Sure. But there’s a certain level of personal responsibility that needs to kick in. If you are working for a company and you can see the writing on the wall (and if you are working at a company, the writing probably IS on the wall), you need to start your own re-training. Is there any auto worker in the United States who doesn’t know his job could disappear tomorrow? For that matter, is there ANYONE in the United States who doesn’t know that their job could end tomorrow?

So personal responsibility first. Wrap your head around the idea that you may need to move fast and you better be prepared — that’s some sort of training or education in a field that is growing, not shrinking, having a resume ready to go, meeting people in your new industry and putting out feelers. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

We have to ask ourselves what industries are going by the wayside (how many people use a travel agent anymore?) and what industries are growing? What are people’s basic needs? They’re going to need food, shelter, clean water (that’s going to be a big one), clothing, meaningful work, good health. Those industries have a built in market. Does anybody learn Gregg shorthand anymore?? No. Technology can now take a person’s voice and convert it to text. Good bye steno pool. Hello, $300 software program.

We are entering the information age. That means we have to educate our young people like never before. It’s time to go to year-round schools — kids lose too much of their education over the summer and spend the first month or even two months of the next school year basically re-learning material. We need to give them life training — how money works, the concept of working for a living, how to freaking survive outside the cocoon. More importantly, we need to teach them HOW to make decisions, not tell them what to do, HOW to assess people and things, rather than just doing the sorting for them. Create classrooms where the teacher poses a question and allows the kids to work out the solution using reason and research. If you want to see how fast kids can learn and teach other kids, Google “TED Hole in the Wall”. Kids are brilliant thinkers (as well as being curtain climbers, rug rats and germ incubators); we kill them with our educational system. It’s about engaging, not training parrots.

Would it be stepping on too many people’s rights to suggest that kids do two years of service to their country after high school (and anyone else who wants to volunteer would be welcome)? Yes, we have Americorps and the Peace Corps. All volunteer. What if the two years after high school were spent teaching young adults how to be adults? How to defend themselves and their country; basic first aid, how finances work, exposure to other ethnicities and geographical areas to enhance their understanding that we are all just people. Helping rebuild houses after Katrina taught many people basic carpentry and home care skills. Could spending time on a farm or ranch open their eyes to the way food gets delivered to their table? Would two years of service help mature them before they got into college and had to decide what to study and how to best allot their time? I’m thinkin’ yeah. And, could two years of service equate to at least one year of tuition payment at the college of their choice? Would private industry sponsor those scholarships? Could Pell Grants be restructured for this? Just asking.

And we as a nation need to look at technology and information with an eye to exporting it to other countries. Look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and you will see what is most readily marketable, within the country and outside of the country: health care/sanitation, food, energy (renewable, please), education, computer software.

The transition to an information/technology economy is happening right now. It just happens to be going on during one of the worst recessions (I’d say depression, but gee, that’s not politically correct) we’ve ever had. But again, it’s Band-Aid time. Hemorrhage all at once. Throw it all up. I’ll hold your hair. We might as well get through it all at once.

So, that’s my three-coffee take on how to fix the economy. The solution will not come from Washington. The strength of the United States is in her people. Stop being distracted by tea bagging, gay marriage, a mosque at Ground Zero, etc. Those are all items designed to keep the American public busy while the country gets raped and pillaged by the politicians. Screw the politicians. Screw the banks. Screw the people on TV who take turns blowing sunshine up your butt and then make you feel like committing suicide.

YOU are the solution. Hire someone. Learn a trade. Mentor a kid. Use a credit union. Invent cheap, renewable energy (I know there is someone out there with the answer. Come forward please!). And do it now. The quicker we get through this, the better for everyone.

I am amazed, fascinated and somewhat aghast by the speed at which my everyday life can transform into an episode of I Love Lucy.

I decided to clean the bathrooms. Just a quick once-over because I have company coming in. I had the balcony doors wide open to the gulf breeze and the day was warm, sunny and perfect. The word “perfect” should have been my tip off.

It was indeed warm. As my “once-over” became a sweat-drenched scrub, I realized that the temperature inside the house had warmed to something just inside the seventh ring of hell. I relented and turned on the air conditioning. And decided to make myself a cooling, protein shake. Healthy and delicious. Don’t worry. My virtuous streaks soon reap their own reward.

Now, you must watch the progression of multi-tasking at this point because it is amazing to behold. As I am making my shake, I remember that the ice maker is jammed up. A friend told me to pour hot water through it. So I did. And I know what you are thinking. Yes, I had a container on the other side catching the water as it went through. Or most of the water. And a couple of chunks of ice.

My shake is still in the blender, whirling derviliciously so I figure, “I have time.” I pour more water through. Things start to break up. Empty the container. Pour more water. A little more on the floor each time until… yes, we have de-iced.

And we also have a rather large puddle of water on the tile floor. “No problem,” said I, with a naivety that belied my advanced years. I will just do a quick mop of the floor. Check the blender. Shake gives me a reassuring nod. I grab the Swiffer Wet Jet.

The commercial flashes through my mind. The happy, slender housewife dancing with the Swiffer, cleaning her floors in the blink of an eye. Just squeeze the trigger and a stream of cleaner comes out. I squeeze. It does! They did not lie! And it comes out. And it comes out. And it comes out.

I now have waves of white foam across my kitchen floor, cabinets, baseboards. The trigger isn’t stuck; it’s just not stopping. I run for the bathroom – don’t want to waste this! I try holding the entire mechanism upside down. Still spraying, I artfully manage a lovely even mist over everything below four feet. My floors vaguely resemble the rapids in Deliverance. I mop faster and faster but the stuff keeps spraying out.

Then it taunts me. Suddenly it seems to stop spraying. I think “Good. I can just start actually mopping now…” only to have it start spraying again like a male cat doing well, what male cats do. But with a fresh, clean scent of course.

I drop the entire mop to the ground, pinning it with my foot so I can use both hands to try to leverage the canister out of its holder. It is wedged in there so tightly that the spray actually comes out with more force, even though I find it hard to believe there is anything left in there.

And it stops. I put a wooden stake through the canister, duct tape it and bury it in the trash with a clove of garlic. Can’t be too careful. I stop the blender, which by now has the tired look of a prom queen the morning after and set to mopping. And mopping. And mopping. My raccoon slippers are soaked.

I would love to tell you that my floor sparkles. And it does. If you look at the streaks in just the right light. On the plus side, if I take a running start in my socks I can slide all the way down the hall. But I know what my limitations are. I am not and never will be a dancing with a mop kind of gal. I’m okay with that. I vow to ply my guests with wine from the moment they arrive. And hope they don’t look too closely in the corners.

Hello,

I have some bad new for you and I apologize in advance. You will not find empowerment at a seminar, no matter how much money you pay. You won’t find it in a book, either. You can’t LEARN empowerment, you can’t FIND empowerment, you can’t BUY empowerment. You either have it or you don’t. And more to the point, you either take it or you leave it.

Men don’t go to empowerment seminars. For most of them, there’s no need. In fact, men don’t even think about empowerment. When they accidently catch more than 30 seconds of the Lifetime Channel, they are wondering what all the fuss is about. Why? They already have power. They already have control over their lives.

You could have it too if you would just pick it up and use it. It’s there for the asking. Actually, it’s there IF you take action.

Listen, the empowerment fairy isn’t going to stop by and tap you on the head with some magic wand that will change your life. So you will have to make do with me. And here’s what I need to tell you:

Stop worrying about whether or not you’re empowered and start getting shit done. The more shit you get done, the more you accomplish, the farther ahead you are and the more powerful you are.

There. I just saved you $2,500 on some touchy-feely seminar. Now go out there and do something. Yes NOW!

Why does Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle resonate with so many people? For me, it is because she is someone who has been dismissed by life. She is 47 years old. She has never been married. She may love her cats a little too much. She is the stereotype spinster who it seems life has passed by. The type of person the world would sniff at disparagingly if she should raise her head and ask for more than her perceived due. She is the good girl, singing in the choir, taking care of her sick mother. She is the one who the grunt work falls to because after all, what else does she have to do with her time? Life passed her by. She was no longer young, hip, full of potential.

And look at the reaction of the audience as she walked on that stage. A frumpy figure, seemingly past her prime, visibly summoning up her courage in a saucy walk. You can see it in the faces: The utter ridiculousness of the attempt. The eye rolls at the mention of the ancient age of 47. They were expecting a pathetic failure. They dismissed her before she began.

Then she opened her mouth and the rest was history. Was it more thrilling because of the incongruity of her ordinary looks and the passionate power of her voice? It was for me. And I bet it was for many others who belong to the ranks of the ordinary.

How many people feel as if they have missed their chance in life? Feel as if they never got their moment in the sun? Feel consigned to the scrap heap of those who must settle for their lot and be grateful for it?

Yet here comes the modest, unassuming Susan Boyle who knew, deep down, that she could blow that room away. What she didn’t know was that she would blow the world away. This lady made the world stop and take notice.

Every so often, someone comes along and knocks the world on its self-satisfied bum. Susan Boyle, probably one of the most polite people on this earth, cleaned our collective clocks. She wouldn’t be relegated to the scrap heap of “never was.” She saw a chance and grabbed it and shook the world. And she sent a wake up call to everyone who has ever given up on a dream. She reopened the realm of possibility which is where all things magical happen.

Think about the dreams that you have carried and perhaps allowed to wither. Look inside. They are still there, buried right under that nasty thing called common sense. Yes, there, just to the right of “Who do you think you are?” Dig it up. Nurture that flickering hope within you. Let it grow. Don’t listen to all the people who say no to you. Say yes to yourself.

Dream the dream

In the past couple of weeks I have spoken with an alarming number of people, male and female who have spent ENORMOUS amounts of money on real estate courses and systems and still have no idea how to get started. And if they did know how to get started, they couldn’t, because they have spent all their money on real estate COURSES instead of on real estate.

In my area of Florida, we are blessed with real estate trainers who have been in the business since the 60s and 70s. These members of the Old Guard, as I call them, keep the prices of their courses affordable — usually around $500 for two days — for the average person. More importantly, when you go to one of their seminars, they are actually TEACHING you how to do real estate, rather than bringing in ten speakers to sell you more real estate courses.

The problem is that they are low priced, not flashy, and definitely not the polished marketers you see hawking glossy, shrink-wrapped multi-media packages. They don’t have professional hucksters doing a dog and pony show two weeks before they hit town so they can fill up the local auditorium. And they don’t sell you into a $25,000 boot camp.

The reason I am so pissed off is that I have spent too much time listening to people debate whether or not they should spend $99 on a one day seminar my sig other and I are putting on this weekend. Quite frankly, I am tired of hearing that they spent literally tens of thousands of dollars with some big-name guru and now they are not sure if they should spend $99 (or $24 for a book) with someone else. The first few times I heard it, I was sympathetic and tried to give them some good sources to get inexpensive information. After all, they had just been cleaned out by the guru. But I am changing my tack. My response to them now when they are debating purchasing my (or anybody else’s) product: “Don’t buy it. Call the guru you spent all that money with and ask them for help.” And I think, “Let’s all hold our breath until he calls you back.”

Is that mean? Absolutely. But not nearly as mean as taking $30,000 from someone that you know is never going to do a real estate deal.

There is a theory that the more money someone invests in something, the more likely he is to take action. And I think that is true, up to a certain level. Marketers talk about bringing prospects into a sales funnel and developing them as clients. You start people with a relatively low-priced item, usually under $100, move them to a $300 or $500 product, then to the $1,000 level and so on. Most sales funnels as far as self-help and investing tap out at the $25,000 - $50,000 range. But, the people who end up at that level are people who are in that business, making money and looking to move themselves into the professional strata. Using a funnel system, people get a feel for what they are doing, decide if they want to continue on and self-select to take themselves to the higher priced levels. The trainer has built a relationship over time with their client and has obviously given them valuable help and information or the client wouldn’t keep spending money with them. Taking someone who is brand new to an industry, whether it is real estate, the stock market. or even acting and selling them into a $25,000 product immediately ends up breaking their bank and their confidence. It is a one-hit sale and it is a big hit.

The other side of that coin is that if something is not high-priced in today’s marketplace, it has no value. People equate price with quality. So trainers who try to keep things affordable for their clients find that they are shooting themselves in the foot. I know of one real estate guru who charges $25,000 (actually more now) and has been in the real estate speaking business for almost four years. Which coincides exactly with the real estate boom. He has no depth of experience, and certainly no experience with a down real estate market. But he is flashy and smooth, gives VIP service to his clients on all the superficial stuff like picking them up in limosines and having lunch catered. His real estate expertise is maybe two notches above his newbie clients. But because he charges so much money, people think he knows more.

From all this, you may think I am against the high prices charged for courses and boot camps. But I am changing my mind on this issue. I can tell you right now why speakers and trainers charge outrageous prices. It is because they got tired of listening to people debate over whether or not they should spend the money to educate themselves. Time is money for most of us. And spending more than ten minutes on the phone with someone who can’t decide whether or not they should spend a hundred bucks wastes more than a hundred dollars of my time. Charging $5,000 for a seminar makes it worth my time to help someone through that should I or shouldn’t I debate.

Bottom line? Well, there may be more than one here. First, if you are new to something, if you want to learn, start off by reading books on the subject. Most books are under $30 and many can be found in the library, on eBay or half.com. Meet with people in the industry. See if this is something you actually want to do and more importantly, something you have some talent for. Don’t jump into something just because there is a boom going on. If you are not in the industry and are just hearing about the boom, pretty much you have missed it. Take a long-term stance. Figure out what your interests and talents are and go in that direction.

The second bottom line? We are raising our prices for seminars and counseling. Anything that takes us out of our house is going to cost money. Why? To have someone trying to bargain us down on an already low price is insulting and wastes our time. Time is the most valuable commodity we have.

Action –> Traction –> Momentum

“I just can’t seem to get any traction.”

I have heard this said in some form or other from the women who come to me for coaching. They feel like their businesses and lives just aren’t going anywhere, no matter what they do.

Sometimes it is a matter of not knowing where to start. Sometimes it is a matter of not knowing where they want to go. Most get lost somewhere along the way. My job is to diagnose the problem and get my clients back on track. Typically, their problems lie within four areas.

1. Lack of focus

A lot of us take pride in being able to multi-task but research has found that multi-tasking is inefficient. We are so busy multi-tasking activities that we don’t get any completed. There’s a certain point where you have to stop giving yourself an “A” for effort and start looking for actual results. So stop trying to do eight things at once and focus on one project at a time. At first it will be hard because all the other things that you need to do keep popping into your brain. Remind them that they will get their turn.

Reinforce your focus by asking yourself these questions:

How does this activity relate to my overall business goals?
Does this activity directly lead to bringing revenue into my account, business or personal?
Is this the most important thing I can be doing at this point in time?
What is my desired end result?

If the activity you are involved in doesn’t directly address your goals and needs, you are wasting your time. As a reminder, print these questions out in large font and post them over your work space.

The other thing you need to know is that your brain can only focus for an hour or two at a time. Take breaks every hour, clear your brain for ten minutes and then go back to work. I find people get lost in the task and lose focus when they don’t take breaks.

2. Not Having A Plan

You can’t design a plan if you don’t know what you want. So start with your goal and a deadline for reaching it. Now work backwards from that goal, week by week. If you want to reach your goal in twelve weeks, where should you be by week 11? Week 10? And so on until you reach week one. What is the ground work you need to lay in order to build a strong plan? What are the materials and skills you will need? What are the milestones along the way that will let you know that you are on target for reaching your goal? Make the steps small enough to be achievable but large enough to generate real progress. Creating a series of realistic steps and benchmarks will keep you on the right path.

3. Not Following The Plan.

I have a friend who lays out a new game plan every other month or so, usually because she has been to a seminar or heard a motivational speaker. She shifts with each passing wind. She is always enthusiastic and I can hear her voice even now: “Barb, I am really making a commitment to this. I know I can do it.” I know she CAN do it, too. But I also know that she WON’T do it.

The problem is that she spends her time laying out these game plans, any one of which, if she followed through, would work. But she has no follow-through. She starts out following the plan, but within a week or two, she is off course. “Life gets in the way,” she sighs. Well, maybe her next game plan should allow for life getting in the way. I suspect she allows life to get in the way more than is necessary. She has a lack of commitment that isn’t evident at first blush. People who meet her at networking meetings think of her as totally committed to her business. She thinks of herself as totally committed to her business. But I know her better. After eight years of watching her lay out game plans that she will never play out, I know that she lacks the commitment that she needs to make her business successful.

Maybe she has a fear of success. Maybe she lacks belief in her own abilities. Maybe her life really is so disorganized that it does get in the way. But the bottom line is that with even minimal follow through, she would be making six figures right now. It is all in the follow-through.

4. Not Giving Your Plan Time To Work.

Another friend of mine recently accepted a position to take over the sales division of an internet training company. He has vast experience in this field and more importantly, he is known for being able to walk into a company and turn it around. This is his field of expertise. When I asked him how it was going, he gave a sigh. The CEO of the company had never put a sales process in place, so he was starting from scratch. On top of that, their monthly expenses are so disproportionately high that the company is always scrambling to cover the bills, jumping from project to project to bring revenue in instead of working steadily towards building a solid customer base. Does this sound like many small businesses? He said, “The company never sticks to one plan long enough for the sales process to work.”

We live in a world of instant gratification. We can get the news, weather and traffic any time, day or night. We can get cash 24 hours a day. We can order online and have it delivered tomorrow. So when we put a plan in place, whether it is marketing, developing systems, or researching new products, and don’t see results instantly, we think we are on the wrong track and abandon the plan entirely.

Plans need time to work. They need commitment from you. Will they need tweaking and adjusting? Of course. When you tweak and adjust, change only one element at a time and see if your results change. You don’t throw away the entire game plan and start fresh. Give your plan time to work.

Action Creates Traction Which Creates Momentum

Setting goals and visualizing are just the first step in your path, whether you are looking to build your business or your life. Once you have a goal, you need to establish a workable plan. The next step is the most important: You have to take directed action. And keep taking action. You are overcoming inertia. Action creates traction. When you feel yourself starting to move forward, you can see success coming and your entire psychology changes. Your confidence level goes up and you carry yourself differently, you present yourself differently. As a result of that, you are perceived differently, by your prospects, your clients, your co-workers, friends and family. They have more trust in your abilities and send you more business, give you more credit. People like a winner and they want to be with a winner. This creates momentum which gives an exponential lift to the progress you are making. Once the momentum starts rolling, you will be unstoppable.

A month or so ago, the local high school football team was out in front of the supermarket, collecting money for — well, for themselves. Two months ago I was accosted by another high school’s band members, rattling their collection cans, raising funds for the band. I was disgusted. What happened to car washes, bake sales? In essence, trading work or goods for money. As near as I could figure, these kids were being taught to beg on street corners. What kind of life skills were they teaching these kids? What precedent were they setting? I looked around for a teacher or an adult. They had their cans out, too.

Then it dawned on me. These kids were being taught the exact skill they will need as adults. The Florida school system is not known for turning out scholars. In fact, they teach to the test — that federally mandated basic skills test that decides if a school system is doing its job or not. The problem is that you have a lowest common denominator system and people, not just kids, tend to work up — or down — to expectations. Florida students and teachers are expected to do the minimum and the minimum is what results.

Which brings me around to the beauty of teaching these kids to beg for money. They are walking out into a non-existent job market with few skills and less ambition. They are being taught a sense of entitlement: “We need money. You have some. Give it to us.” Begging may be the best and only skill they can master.

I was going to post on the inappropriate choice of Sarah Palin as the vice presidential nominee for the Republican Party, but I am sure that it will be a total non-issue in about two days. Besides, I am fairly sure that many of you would see it as political sour grapes as I was passed up for the number two slot by BOTH parties. The fact that Palin is totally unqualified for the job is just rubbing my nose in it. Turns out I was more qualified for the VP job than the GOP nominee. Who knew?

What I would like to address is the fact that the Republicans seem to think American women would fall for the bait — voting for a woman just because she is a woman. It is insulting to our intelligence to think that we would choose gender over the capacity to lead the country. Trying to pick up Hillary supporters by choosing someone with the right genitalia but whose political views are diametrically opposite Clinton’s is the GOP’s way of saying it believes that women are interchangeable. Gee, maybe we should check to see how many of the second and third wives are younger versions of wife number one. On both sides of the aisle. Don’t believe me? Watch who they replace Palin with. It will be someone like Charlie Crist of Florida — tanned, beautifully coiffed and photogenic. What? You thought Dan Quayle made the cut because of his SAT scores?

The Republicans thought they could get away with throwing in a stereotype instead of a qualified candidate for a very good reason: it works. The American public has an alarming tendency to vote for types, particularly photogenic types, instead of paying attention to actual issues. Most people spend more time planning their yearly vacation than investigating the views and issues of presidential candidates. We judge the candidates on looks and twenty second sound bites. Both parties are aware of this and that is why they are able to sling mud, tell outrageous lies (think Max Cleland) and get away with it. They know that no one is going to check or care.

If you are worried about the direction that the country is heading in, if you are suffering from the results of the collapsing economy, and if you are unhappy with politics as usual, it is up to you to do the hard work and make a difference.